November, 1996--We have to go back where?

When we entered the U.S. in Atlanta we were told, "You have to go back." We asked, "Back to where, Benin?" "No just to Immigration." Whew! We were really wary, because Alicia had come in on a tourist visa! Off we went to the US Immigration office. We were told our daughter would be put on a Humanitarian Parole and were given an appointment to meet with INS in Chicago. We had no idea what a humanitarian parole was! We just knew that we could not take Alicia out of the country during this time.

We came home to no place to live. A young man in our church allowed us to live with him for a month. I was sick every night. There was only one bathroom in the house and it was across the hall from Dan's bedroom. Later he said he felt sorry for me, because he did hear me puking my guts out almost every night!

While we were staying at Dan's house we got word that there was a widower who wanted to meet with us and it was possible that we could live with him. He had a big old house in Western Springs, around the corner from our Pastor. Chuck was recently retired and his wife had died the year before from complications during surgery. We went to see him and low and behold Milton knew him. He had spoken at Chuck's church and they had given him a love offering for his ministry!

He offered his home and Chuck gave us the master bedroom and a smaller room for Alicia. I don't remember where we got her crib, but soon we were settled in with Chuck and we began the home study process. We met with our social worker, Judy Stigger who was at the time with Lutheran Social Services of Illinois. This was an agency I had worked with before Milton and I were married.

There were a couple of things that I did not appreciate. I remember in one of our first meetings she seemed upset with us because I was pregnant. I remember her making a statement like, "That's why we tell our adoptive parents to use birth control!" I was ecstatic that I was pregnant and she wasn't going to take away my joy! God had given us Alicia and also this baby.

There were some really weird requirements that Chuck had to go along with. He was more than willing to get fingerprinted and off we went together to the nearest sheriff's off to get that done. He had a little dog, Cricket and we had to make sure his vaccinations were up to date because we were living in the house with them.

These were great times. I learned a lot about flexibility and living together with someone you don't know. Chuck was great. We have remained friends all these years and try to see him and his wife when ever we are in the Chicago area. We have some great memories of teaching Alicia to come down the stairs without falling for example!

I was involved in a Bible study at church and it was a great time of bonding as a family. We kept pushing the home study forward and at one point we had a difficult time getting the paper work we needed from DCFS. I had worked with them before. I called our social worker and she asked us to handle it rather than her. We carried more clout as parents than she did. Besides she had to work with them. DCFS lost our file twice and we had to resend information to them. Finally I found out who our senator was and I contacted her. She lit a fire under them and we got some movement on our case.